Thursday, January 21, 2010

dont feed the ducks...

...if you can believe it, we are apparently no longer allowed to feed ducks at a pond. What does this mean?...memories of bringing down a loaf of wonderbread to throw in the water with your kids are no longer available because some loser who never got picked in kickball decided it to be so... what the hell harm can it cause? fat ducks? omg no.... yah, we're really concerned with obesity in this country considering the entire population is amidst an epidemic... i can see the stories we'll be telling our grandchildren..."... you should have seen it... there were twinkies and donuts everywhere, but we had skinny ducks goddammit!..." cut it out...
but back to the damn ducks...why cant we feed them? does that mean all petting zoo's are closed? no more peanut machines for .25 so you can throw them into the monkey cages at the bronx zoo? ... what about the wild safari ride in theme parks...don't dare feed the animals!... give me a break!!! ...all so some loser can have a bulls*&t job, and tell you that a nice day with your kids is not possible anymore? ... what a joke. do you really think that millions of years of evolution and instinct will be wiped out by our puny existence, some of which will be set aside to feed wildlife, and in turn these creatures will immediately become dependent, never searching out food for themselves, and dropping dead from starvation because they're too stupid to eat other things beside wonder bread??!?!?

if you are reading this and you are a park ranger or duck pond manager or whatever public service job might include wildlife feeding regulations... you can take your rules and shove em right up you know where. How terrible you must feel to deny any childhood experiences you may have had just for the sake of some local law, put into practice for no good reason...feeding ducks at a pond is like playing catch with your kid...its that important! kids love f'ing ducks!

i declare today to be national duck feeding day. grab your wonderbread and make way for the local duck pond... i know they'll be eating good in my town tonight...

..think about it....whats next? no bait on sport fishing hooks because the fish might forget how to eat?


1 comment:

  1. Out here where I live, we don't take kindly to signs. Ducks get fed, people swim where they gosh darn please and no one is worse for the wear. I think, basically as a society, we're trying to weed common sense out of the gene pool so soon we'll need a sign for everything...

    Just my two cents :)

    Thanks for checking out my blog and for the comment BTW.

    Have a great weekend and go feed those ducks!