Tuesday, January 26, 2010

is that the sun???

finally! i think we might have some sun today! if the ocean was a few degress warmer i might have played the sick card today and went off surfing... but i guess ill have to wait for a few months until the temps rise a bit... weekend was good, nothing too crazy, did a bunch of shopping for a trip coming up next weekend, had some sushi and slept in on Sunday. Made it out to the wineries over the weekend too (long island, ny)... kind of baron this time of year, but still fun to drive around if you're in that "aimlessly driving type of mood"

what else... oh, i just recently got this auto start installed in my car. i have to be honest and tell you that i dont know how i got along without it before... how sweet is it to start the car up when its below freezing and then get into a nice warm car??? .. no more convulsing and mr. miagi rubbing the hands together to create heat... no sir,... just a few clicks of the button and a warm chariot awaits! ... i would even venture to say thats its better than post-its....

so thats pretty much it... aimlessly driving around in my newly equipped car.


Friday, January 22, 2010

whaddup doc?

so im driving out at 6am this morning, and this rabbit darts out in front of the car... wow was that thing fast...it was like a furry white bottle rocket of some sort...got me thinking... now how did a turtle manage to beat one of these things? have you ever seen a turtle? of course you have... what idiot came up with that tortoise and the hare story? ... i know , i get it,..you dont have to say it.. "slow and steady wins the race" ... wait a minute?? no it doesnt! not all the time you know... some times you have to go out and get it,...make it happen...be aggressive,...not sit on your lazy ass and limit your acceleration? a better story would have been something like,... a tortoise and hare are in the woods... a bear comes along and eats the hare but cant get inside the tortoise's shell...moral of the story? always be prepared. whats the matter?...not appropriate for children with the whole bear eating thing?lets review some other kids tales... in fact, most childhood stories are pretty f'd up anyways,... take little red riding hood for example... nice little girl walking alone through the forest to find her grandmother was eaten by a wolf who plans to maul her too? ... what about hansel and gretel... some old bag of a witch looking to plump them up for a nice cannibal supper? ... what the hell are we reading to our kids? i could go on, but i need to eat some breakfast at some point...my stomach is growling.

anyways, i managed to dodge the bunny and all is well. end of the week today...hooray :) , lets hope the sun comes out for a bit this weekend to enjoy cuz i have some plans to go shoot some trap (shotguns) on sunday but the weather has to cooperate. we'll see how it goes.

enjoy the weekend.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

dont feed the ducks...

...if you can believe it, we are apparently no longer allowed to feed ducks at a pond. What does this mean?...memories of bringing down a loaf of wonderbread to throw in the water with your kids are no longer available because some loser who never got picked in kickball decided it to be so... what the hell harm can it cause? fat ducks? omg no.... yah, we're really concerned with obesity in this country considering the entire population is amidst an epidemic... i can see the stories we'll be telling our grandchildren..."... you should have seen it... there were twinkies and donuts everywhere, but we had skinny ducks goddammit!..." cut it out...
but back to the damn ducks...why cant we feed them? does that mean all petting zoo's are closed? no more peanut machines for .25 so you can throw them into the monkey cages at the bronx zoo? ... what about the wild safari ride in theme parks...don't dare feed the animals!... give me a break!!! ...all so some loser can have a bulls*&t job, and tell you that a nice day with your kids is not possible anymore? ... what a joke. do you really think that millions of years of evolution and instinct will be wiped out by our puny existence, some of which will be set aside to feed wildlife, and in turn these creatures will immediately become dependent, never searching out food for themselves, and dropping dead from starvation because they're too stupid to eat other things beside wonder bread??!?!?

if you are reading this and you are a park ranger or duck pond manager or whatever public service job might include wildlife feeding regulations... you can take your rules and shove em right up you know where. How terrible you must feel to deny any childhood experiences you may have had just for the sake of some local law, put into practice for no good reason...feeding ducks at a pond is like playing catch with your kid...its that important! kids love f'ing ducks!

i declare today to be national duck feeding day. grab your wonderbread and make way for the local duck pond... i know they'll be eating good in my town tonight...

..think about it....whats next? no bait on sport fishing hooks because the fish might forget how to eat?


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

do you know what its like?

to drive from the center of long island ny, to orient point (the furthest tip of the north fork), to new york city, back to orient point and then back home? No? .. ok come with me,... and ill tell you...

first, i must admit driving out to orient this morning was pretty relaxing. The sun was coming up, the lights were green, people were waving, and then BAM!!! this car in front of me hits black ice or something,...maybe he had some unfortunate bowel movement from possibly eating low grade sushi or something? i dont know, but whatever it was, black ice or bad sushi,... things were not rolling well for this person... so now im stopped in traffice having witnessed an accident, nobody was hurt i dont think...just a car spinning off the road and a fender bender in front...

to my surprise, reinforcements arrived within 2 minutes and the road was instantaneously closed? all for a spinning car. really? and it just so happened that they let everyone else in front of me through, and decided to detour me off to a southern route...i tried to explain, that i had someplace to be, but it was like trying to order chinese food over the telephone...very difficult and nobody understands you, so i thanked him for being such a great traffic controller with as much sarcasm as i could deal out... and headed off the road.

ok so now im late, driving in the wrong direction, frustrated and pissed at the once beautiful sunrise, causing me to squint as i try to find sunglasses. my speed increases as i roll through little farm towns out to the east end... people are throwing their arms in the air, every traffic light is now intentionally red..or so it seems, and i think i got the finger from an old lady standing at a crosswalk.

making it to the ferry at orient point without running anything over was a feat in itself, AND i made it on time as if nothing happened. my co-pilot whom i was picking up made the ride enjoyable into the city and we missed most of the rush hour traffic arriving at our destination. after doin some biz, we grabbed a suhweeeet lunch at this bodega...it was incredible.. fried chicken, rice and beans, tamales, empinadas, etc... i felt like someone jacked up my stomach with a bicycle pump...and then to top it off we had some tasty joya soda...there was so much sugar in it I felt like maybe i might slip into a coma right then and there...

Now,... just as things were going well for us, our trip back towards eastern long island started off with the biggest, and i mean biggest load of birdcrap landing on my windshield. someone must have fed a seagull and entire happy meal, and i had to stop at a gas station because i was shockingly out of fluid for the windshield ...could you believe it???...the wipers are now turning my vision into a white/brown/green camoflauge fecesfilm,(gross, im sorry,...but the truth) and im laughing uncontrollably like a maniac at this point.

so we make it out to the open road away from bird harboring buildings and i begin to bob and weave my way through traffic. the grand cherokee is agile and strong, provoking a few near collisons but we saw our way through them...white knuckles and all, laughing and making comments like in the movie talledega nights with will farrell...

at long last, we arrive out east to find that the entire town is closed for the winter season... imagine that? ... like in the movies when people would travel to some east bumfingle town... signs would read something like ... "closed for flu" ... well, i was there today...cold, hungry and thirsty.

1. dont drive the length of long island 4 times in one day.
2. make sure to carry a paintball gun for any traffic officials who might inconvenience you.
3. fill your car with windshield washer fluid.
4. plan to eat before you leave civilization

on to thursday :)

which i will start off with a beer...in preparation for what may be, or perhaps to destress from today... lata!

Monday, January 18, 2010

the first time I...

jumped from a helicopter was pretty sureal... it was actually my first helicopter ride as well ... so double the excitement you could say :) in the heli there were five jumpers total, four and a videographer.... all i can say about a helicopter is that it just feels weird...maybe because im a private pilot and have spent lots of time flying planes... there is something about a helicopter that makes me want to question whether or not it should be flying... but anyways, the pilot took us on a nice low level ride before we went up to altitude...was really neat how he was able to maneuver that thing so close to the ground.

it only took us a few minutes to get up where we needed to be and before long we were on the step ready to go. im proud to say that i remembered not to "jump up" ... which would totally ruin anyones weekend... and falling out of the heli, flipping over onto my back watching it shrink as the ground began to grow underneath me... its something ill never forget. then it got exciting...as i was deploying my chute and going over everything ,... i heard another canopy opening up, and eventually on my same level only 75' away...which is extremely close!!! needless to say i was a bit upset that the other jumper came so close, and to make matters worse he wasnt even equipped properly for the jump having forgotten his goggles...i was a bit upset.

always gotta watch out for those other people on the road if ya know what i mean.

so if you're gonna skydive a heli...make sure not to jump up..and make sure that everyone else on the jump is prepared as well...maybe that will be my next blog topic... how some people just shouldn't be doing certain things...ill call it "according to petro"...kinda like that tv series "according to jim"...but way cooler...

hahaha lata!

i miss the ocean.

yah, so i was hanging around this weekend... watching the rain, watching movies, watching the winter go by... wound up going into the garage and taking out the surfboards...as I was cleaning off some old wax I started to think how I really missed surfing... and how in no way regretful, have been so involved with skydiving to notice. these two sports are really apart from each other... i think you could even go as far as saying that they're on each end of the spectrum...

surfing on one hand is quiet, peaceful, rocking you to sleep in the motion of the ocean until its time to paddle... skydiving on the other hand is loud, forceful, and violent at first until the canopy opens and you're surrounded by silence. totally different when compared to each other, yet when applied to an individual ... provide the same sense of relaxation... funny to think about it this way...

so back to surfing... standing there in the garage i would have thrown the board in the car, but the report was for flat conditions and oh, btw,... the temp is frigid in the 40's. i think by may/june...the water should be tolerable to some degree, although i can remember surfing through many winters...boots, hoodie, 6mil suits, etc..

you know, the water is not even the worse part...what really sucks is having to get changed in the parking lot when its below zero.. not fun!now i'm thinking perhaps i should buy some old bus... paint it up all psychadelic or something... call it the mystery machine like in scooby doo? i dunno... just missing surfing and warm weather I guess... enjoy your Monday.

Friday, January 15, 2010

our dairy obsession...

have you ever stopped to think about why we feel the milk from another species is relevant to our health? Doesnt that seem a bit odd?Why not drink milk from a gorilla instead? Why cows? was it more convenient because they have so many spouts off that utter thing? Aside from the dairy industry being so grossly unhealthy, we still seem to think it necessary to grow up big and strong. ill say it again... we think we need the milk from another species to be healthy.

As infants we need mothers milk,...females are designed to provide milk to our children.... but thats just it! ... when we're not children anymore we come off of it. Then you hear nonsense about needing calcium and vitamin D...etc... there are so many other foods that provide this,...and without all those hormones, unapproved drugs administered to the livestock, pesticides, etc...

take a closer look at how we manage the dairy industry and you'll puke. Dairy industry aside, ... did you know that many countries refuse our exports because our food is so contaminated? did you know that we test a fraction of a percent of livestock set for consumption? ... as opposed to countries like Japan who test every single animal!!! why are we not doing this? ... excuses excuses...we'll our population is bigger... Bull! (no pun intended) than that means there are more people to do the testing!

truth is that there are billions and billions of dollars at steak here... (that pun was intended...) just another facet of the ever so loved greed monster. in this case its your health thats in question. Oh yes, the FDA is a super watchdog and knows what is good for us...look at what they've approved in the past and then come talk to me. you have all been duped! we've even convinced ourselves that there is such a term as "lactose intolerant"...and that humans are supposed to be able to handle dairy. WHAT ?!/!? the truth is that some people have cast iron stomachs and some do not...but our bodies are telling us that we are not supposed to be drinking/eating it...and yet we STILL make medicines to allow ourselves to tolerate it. its nuts! money money money..make money from the cows and when people cant tolerate the cows...make money from the drugs + cows... its a win win for the dairy medicine man.

so, in protest to this im going to be milking gorillas this saturday at the bronx zoo. there will be regular, chocolate and strawberry blends... all are welcome to attend and savor the flavor. You think thats crazy right? Pretend the dairy industry didnt exist and insert the word Cow instead of gorilla. the more i think about it, the crazier it becomes.

well, the weekend is almost here...so enjoy your milk and cheese.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

mass transit and a prescription of sorts...

I've just recently determined that there are two types of people in this world. those who can deal with trains, buses, subways, etc... and those that cant. I am one who cannot deal with the crowds, smells and noises so annoying you want to throw yourself across the tracks in desperation. let me explain further...

its not that i dont like using the train...i actually take the train when i can, as its convenient and fast to wherever you're going. im refering to off peak times when you actually have a seat, the ride is somewhat enjoyable... you know these times right? these times are enjoyable because your face isnt pressed up against some persons back who presumably did not shower for weeks. Why? well just to make your trip that much more exciting as your senses are overloading with some kind of mixed garlic, bacon and old beer smell. that actually happened, and I'm dry heaving now just thinking about it.

the times i cant deal with are just that. there are a certain amount of seats on the train for a reason. does max capacity ring a bell? is it right that im fighting with a 65 year old woman because shes telling me to stand up straighter and there will be more room? really? is this the image the MTA/LIRR considers max capacity?...because thats what it feels like during the morning commute!

work work work... thats all you hear... think about your conversation with your friends...hey man, how are you... pretty good, work is crazy, same things...and you? sound familiar? ... shouldnt family come before work? shouldnt the things we enjoy come before work? im not saying to quit your job... thats dumb and people that quit their jobs to go live in a tree house drinking herbal tea while they become one with nature are losers... its my opinion so deal with it... and im not saying that i hate work...because i definitely dont... i actually consider myself one of the more fortunate individuals who actually like what they do...but what im saying is that maybe people should take a second to think about what really matters... family, friends, things that make you smile a bit,... like BLT's and ice cream, etc...things like that right? we've gotten so consumed by money and greed that we've lost focus on what really matters... spend time with the people who make a difference in your life.... reach out and talk to friends you havn't spoken to in a while... take a ride to the beach and enjoy some of the simple things life has to offer. after all....work will always be there in the morning.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

hiney taps for politics?

the hiney tap is probably one of the most respected gestures in competitive sports, recognized by all men as a compliment and in no way seen as inappropriate. For example... What? you sacked the quarterback?....you get hiney tapped from your teammates. In my opinion,...probably the most renowned hiney tap of all is the ol' rounding third base on a home run in baseball...the third base coach looks forwards to this hiney tap, sometimes even introducing the windmill approach as he initiates the tap... I can go on with this for hours, but I'll get right to my point. Why are there no hiney taps in the political arena? What? you were able to finally control illegal immigration? ... here you go....hiney taps all around. Excuse me? you just passed a bill to strengthen the job market and drive down the unemployment rate?... of course! ...heres a hiney tap for your hard work. Wow, I can't believe you were able to protect our rights as citizens instead of using the constitution as a door mat... here's a hiney tap, even though you should do this anyways...

do you know why there are no hiney taps in politics? ... Because this country is being flushed down the toilet over corporate greed and a willingness to "Politically Correct" ourselves to death! That's right... who the heck would hiney tap for this? Maybe someday we'll wake up and get back the country our older generations fought so hard for... maybe we'll see how misguided we've become. Perhaps we'll notice this soon...

until then, I'm going to get a happy meal to cheer myself up.

good morning.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

a good question...

why do people look at the ground when they walk? is there something that I'm missing here? grass, sprinklers, sidewalks, dog-poo, old bubblegum...etc.. why the intense focus downward? .. i don't know if its just me, maybe I'm crazy.. but i find it hysterical.. even when i offer a nice "Hello" as they walk by... all i get is some sort of peripheral acknowledgement. whats the deal? why don't people talk? nobody seems to be enjoying the sun when its out... or it could be the caffeine i drank today (3 cups by 8am) .. but, you know what? .. I'm like that anyways... just having a good ol time...that's me...here's a shot of me enjoying the sun from 13,500' to prove it... sometimes i think i might be solar powered or something... i swear when the sun is out i just feel a bit more energized. do you know what I'm talking about? .. if not well, too bad... nothing like a good solar vibe running through your body.

Monday, January 11, 2010

ah yes, another monday.

hope everyone enjoyed this past weekend...i forgot to mention last week that i was at the airpark on thursday getting ready to move my chopper to hicksville...but on the way out there there was this guy driving alongside me in one of those Smart cars or whatever they are... they are super tiny to sum it up... and i was thinking... how smart are you when an 18 wheeler decides to change lanes turning your matchbox car into a compressed sardine can? ... how do they even certify those things as being safe!! its crazy... yeah, dont talk on the phone...its too dangerous...oh, and by the way heres a sweet car you can ride, but be sure not to blink cause there might be a slim chance you'll transform into a fresh pile of road kill if youre not careful.... truth is .. .talking on the cellphone is no more dangerous than eating an oversized 1500 calorie hamburger with extra cheese dripping on your leg as you steer the wheel with your knee. heres an article supporting this!
...and oh yes, talking on the phone too..but its cool because you have one of the "im a real techie" type bluetooth headsets...

give me a break...why do we use these things...because we need our hands free to eat? thats another story... dont get me started on that.

so anyways, now that i have that off my chest... things are looking good out at the airpark... Team Plowboy has once again cleared off the airpark grounds and remains at the top...still the undisputed world heavyweight snowplowing contender... i think im going to make up a belt like in the old days when WWF was cool... remember? hulk hogan, hacksaw jim duggan, koko b ware, jake the snake, andre the giant, george the animal steel, ... i can go on... oh well, i guess things change....more glitz, more glamour, more steriods...thats just how it goes i guess. ... but you cant stand there and tell me it wasnt cool to watch george eat a turnbuckle with a green tounge? ... those guys kicked some major tail back in the day... what? wrestlers are cool today too? Maybe they are, but this is MY blog and i say that old guys rule.

deal with it, and stay warm.
pray for sun.

petro out.

Friday, January 8, 2010

boredom developing from lack of altitude...

you know, i never really appreciated how tasty bacon is. it really is the ultimate food... what other food could you actually infuse with vodka? .. im serious. .. . now if they were to make general tso's chicken flavored vodka.. that might top the list...but i think that has a few more years in the making... ill wait patiently until that glorious day. think about flying and bacon for a second here... especially on commercial flights... imagine a sweet tasty strip of fat and grease to compliment those little peanut packets... thats the cats pajamas right there baby! i'd be pissed if first class tickets were already getting this... why am i talking about bacon? ... probably because i watched somebody eat this amazing BLT for lunch and i couldnt help but salivate in a pavlovian type response...i mean really, the only thing missing was the bell...

so yes, im bored... cant fly...cant jump... the snow is not even nice anymore,...its just nasty and asphalt stained...

on the scorecard ... winter,1 ... petro,0.

you'll notice too that the airpark is running tip top this winter thanks to the commanding officer positioned in the eagles nest. in spain they would call him "el hombre", but here in the states we call him "the man".

hopefully it gets warmer soon...

Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Cold Finger Bike Run

Motorcycles and Snow don't really mix too well...It's not even close, not even passable like how mustard and ketchup taste on hamburgers? not too bad right? ... not even that close!... it would be like ketchup and caviar, or mustard and peanut butter... no way man!!! I mean, unless you're riding something out of Mad Max en route to thunderdome where you'll battle some large ogre with chainsaws and pick axes while a woman controls the fight from above dressed in metal chainmail ... aside from this scenario...you would most likely stay off the road.

So to sum things up...everyone is a bit disappointed that the weather didn't cooperate, but you can still donate to help out the kids at Camp Adventure. Check the link below for info.


Winter is here...

so i guess we could say that winter has officially arrived with the last couple weeks freezing temps and plenty of snow...as a fellow aviator there is nothing more depressing than being stuck on the ground shoveling that white stuff when you could be up there flying, falling... whatever floats your boat...i remember shoveling the last storm and thinking how i couldnt wait for winter to be over already... then i almost laughed at myself and said...but it just started a week ago!!! man i hope i can hold it together until we have some warmer temps...

i might break down and have to take a flight to florida or something so i can find an airplane or heli to jump out of...

oh yeah, its that bad...im an addict of freefall! :) but enough about my being restless....

The airpark is doing its best to stay on top of any accumulation over the grounds and so if you can please remember to park all cars within designated spaces...it would make things a bit easier throughout the removals...

so what else? i've been trying to compile a good library of photos from everyone out at the airpark so we can begin to develop the community portion of the website. It goes without being said that everyone out here has gorgeous aircraft, and we would love to include this content within the site. Please dont feel limited to just pics of your planes though... we look forward to posting pics of everything around the airpark :) .. . well, maybe not everything, but ill leave that determination to you... send your pics to me here at jrp@petrocelliinc.com ... look forward to hearing from you.

hope all enjoyed a healthy and happy holiday!
be good, blue skies and tasty BLT's to all :) ... or just LT's if you're a vegan.